Out of the Dirt

It has truly been a season of winter in my soul. I have struggled to write anything here in such a long time. This was my first truly blue, dark winter that I can ever remember having. Sure the winter that Mom died I was in a funk. More like time just stood still and nothing around me mattered. That was grief! This is different. A dark, sad, lonely season. A season of much change. A season of why. A season like I've never experienced before now. I am a "see the glass half full" kind of gal. Im a gal of much faith and optimism. A gal full of joy in all things, even the tough stuff of life. Yet, this winter, I had none of that. It was a true depression that just knocked the wind out of my sails. As Ps. 23 says, " Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; our rod and your staff, they comfort me." My shepherd walked with me every step of the way through the valley. He nourished my soul and held me up every step of the way. He gave me an incredibly understanding husband to walk with me each day. He renewed an old friendship that He knew I needed for a time such as this. He surrounded me with people that new the kind of prayer I needed! He brought rest into our home. A true rest that we haven't known if all of our years of ministry. He placed me in a beautiful homeschooling community that encouraged me weekly as a Mom and teacher. He has placed us in a church where the teaching is sound, biblical and nourishing. As the season changed from winter to spring, so did my heart and mind! As flowers are blooming and the grass began to be beautiful and vibrant again, so my soul and heart began to bloom joy and hope again! It is so good to FEEL again. My song for this new season has been David Crowders, Wholly Yours:

I am full of earth
You are heaven’s worth
I am stained with dirt, prone to depravity
You are everything that is bright and clean
The antonym of me
You are divinity
But a certain sign of grace is this
From a broken earth flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt

You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries “Holy, holy God”
You are holy, holy, holy
I wanna be holy like You are.



Thank you precious Lord Jesus for seeing me through such a hard season. Thank you that flowers can come up from broken earth and dirt!! I don't know what I ever did to deserve such grace, but Lord I am so very thankful! I love you my savior!! Sweet friends that are reading this blog and have know the depths of my misery this winter, thank you for putting up with me!!! For praying with me and for me! For listening and crying with me!! You all were instruments of our Father's hands!! I love you all so much!